TO LOVE AND TO LOSE

As the Backstreet Boys so wisely sang ‘Love is what the trouble is’. I have heard so many times that Love moves mountains and conquers all, and in some fairytale relationships that may be true, but sometimes Love just isn’t enough.

Relationships are a funny thing, there are all these unwritten rules to follow and games to play, and the expectations, this belief you have that your partner wants the same things you do, but do they? Or are they just telling what you want to hear? I find that it’s only in the eleventh hour, when things get real, when the game is over, when it’s too late, that the truth comes out.

Peyton Sawyer (Hilarie Burton - One Tree Hill) once said ‘Losing your heart's desire is tragic, but gaining your heart's desire is all you can wish for. So if that's tragic, then give me tragedy’. I guess this goes along the lines of better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, and in this respect I’m one of the lucky ones, because I have loved and I have lost, I’ve gained my heart’s desire and had the tragedy of losing it, but was losing it really that tragic?

Olivia Wilde (Dr. Remy ‘Thirteen’ Hadley in HOUSE) said of the end of her marriage: ‘The end is not necessarily the tragedy. Staying in a relationship that is no longer working is the tragedy. Living unhappily – that’s the tragedy’

And I can see her point, it’s so easy to stay in a relationship out of comfort, because it’s better than facing the truth that it’s over and neither one has the heart to pull the plug. You’ve created this fantasy in your head of what your life will be like with this person and the thought of destroying that is unbearable, but to realize you’re alone in that fantasy because your partner doesn’t share your desires, it makes ending that fantasy a little easier, heartbreaking none the less, but easier.

A wise man once said ‘You can have anything in life if you’re willing to sacrifice everything else for it’. According to Meredith Grey (Ellen Pompeo – Grey’s Anatomy) ‘what he meant is nothing comes without a price. So before you go into battle, you better decide how much you’re willing to lose’. Personally I believe in risking it all for love, but I don’t think it should be done alone. Love is a two way street, so why should one person take all the chances and make all the sacrifices? I think that sacrificing it all is only worth it when it is done for someone who would make the same sacrifice for you. Love is a battlefield and when you realize that you’re the only one keeping you together, that if you give up and it all ended the other person would not fight for you, that’s the moment to surrender and let it all go.

As Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor - How I Met Your Mother) said: ‘Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things.’ Ending a relationship is hard, specially when the two people in question still love each other, but when the relationship no longer has a future, as heartbreaking as it may be, going your separate ways may be the best way of giving you both a fighting chance at finding true love.

I leave you with the wise words of coach Whitey
 Durham (Barry Corbin - One Tree Hill): ‘The important thing is not to be bitter over life's disappointments. Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that every day won't be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness of despair, remember, it's only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars lead you back home.’

Until next time… Smooches to all! xXx