COUNTING MY LUCKY STARS

28. Another year. I was recently talking to some friends about the things we wanted when we were younger and when we wanted them. I remember being 15 and thinking that in 10 years time (which at the time seemed OLD to me), I would be married, a successful journalist, and mother of two. I am now 28 and only one of those things has come true for me, and funny enough I can’t say I’m disappointed because for now I’m exactly where I need to be.

Sure, there are people out there who seem like they have it all figured out, a great career and the perfect family before they’re even 30, looks like they have it all, but the truth is we never know what lies behind closed doors. I do however know what is behind my door, and it may not be perfect but it’s perfect for me.

I have a husband. A gorgeous, sexy, incredibly smart husband who drives me insane, and I couldn’t love him more, he really knows how to push my buttons and sometimes I think he does it on purpose, like pissing me off is a little hobby. We tend to explode at each other every once in a while, when we argue there is so much passion in our arguments, we are as pig headed as the other but still respect one another’s thoughts even if we don’t agree with them. It is this passion that assures me that we have many more years of pushing each others buttons, because if you don’t care about someone why bother getting all worked up about them, right?

Career wise I haven’t been that lucky. I had some good opportunities come at the wrong times, and I even had a great opportunity where I got to work my dream job in South America, but was faced with a decision, the eternal question of career vs. love.  I chose love, and I don’t regret it. I had my family, my dream job, my own apartment, my car, and a pretty great life, but something was missing, he was missing… so I handed in my notice, packed my bags, said my goodbye’s and got on that one way flight to England.

I’m 28, I’ve found the love of my life and now it’s time to find the real job of my dreams, because my other great passions in life are writing and journalism. This year I will find somewhere to set some roots and build a foundation, somewhere to grow professionally and learn from my peers. And maybe I won’t find that dream job straight away but this is the year when I get my foot in the door! I’m feeling good about 28… this is going to be my year.

Until next time… Smooches to all xXx

A PINTERESTING BRIDE

Last night I met with my friend Nix for the first time since finding out about her engagement (congrats sweety!), and when I started talking about my own planning experience in a bid to help her start her own bridal journey I realised that there is one particular tool that has been my shining start since the very start of my wedding planning days: Pinterest.

For those of you who don’t know, Pinterest is a free digital pin board, where you can create as many different boards as you like and you have a great variety of categories to search through. It is an amazing source of inspiration and a great way to keep all your digital ideas in one place, it’s like an environmentally friendly planner!

For those of you who are familiar with Pinterest you will know it is highly addictive, you can spend hours scrolling through other people’s pin boards and pinning images on to yours, and although you can get distracted and go off on Fashion or DIY tangents, you can also find a lot of hidden gems, wedding ideas that you never would have thought of.

Personally, I have 37 pin boards, only five of them specifically dedicated to wedding planning:

* Wedding Ideas: This was my first board. Initially all wedding related pins went on this board but as I realised my need for a more organised system, I branched out and created more specific categories to cater for my bridal needs. Now it mainly consists of all general ideas, venues, planning tips, thank you cards, cake toppers, table numbers, champagne flutes, cake cutters, themes and colours, invites, wedding favours, bridesmaids dresses… and the list goes on!

 http://pinterest.com/NenaHuertaUrq/wedding-ideas/

* Here Comes The Bride: This board was born when I realised I wanted to share my wedding ideas board with the groom to get him involved and find out his opinions, WITHOUT letting him see what kind of dress I was looking for or how I would have my hair. As every other bride, I want my look on that day to be a surprise for him so this board is more for me. Here you can fin beautiful bridal gowns, tiaras, jewellery, shoes, rings, floral bouquets, hair styles and makeup.

http://pinterest.com/NenaHuertaUrq/here-comes-the-bride/

* Wedding Photography: It is impossible to look through photographers pictures and not think ‘I want that shot’ about a million times. Whether you’re just browsing the web as a newly engaged girl, gathering ideas for when he finally pops the question or looking for someone to actually photograph your wedding, having all your desired shots in one place is a huge help. With my wedding being in Mexico I had to pick a photographer from afar and being able to compare all the images I’ve saved with each of their styles was a big help in making my choice, not to mention the fact that I don’t even have to tell them what kind of photography I want on my big day… I can just show them!

http://pinterest.com/NenaHuertaUrq/wedding-photography/

* Xcaret Weddings: It’s well enough having pictures that I would like to have but there are certain shots that can only be achieved in certain places. I am an Xcaret bride, this is the magical place where I get to say ‘I do’ and it is only logical that I look at past Xcaret brides for inspiration. There are many shots from my wedding photography that I could only have in daydreams, but these, I can make happen. Needless to say my photographer has already been sent this link and is ready to recreate some of these stunning shots!

http://pinterest.com/NenaHuertaUrq/xcaret-weddings/

 * Wedding Cake: My cake tasting is the same week as my wedding, and even though I can’t pick the flavour of the cake from thousands of miles away, I can certainly pick the style! I’ve always wanted a lace cake and since my theme is rainbow, these were the two main criteria when adding cakes to this board. Of course when discussing the cake with Mexican bakers, showing them what I wanted was a huge advantage in picking the right place, I sent all the candidates the link and they submitted their proposals, this allowed me to see who could best interpret my vision and I picked the perfect gal for the job!

http://pinterest.com/NenaHuertaUrq/wedding-cake/

Long story short (who am I kidding, I never keep anything short!), Pinterest is a fantastic tool for every Bridezilla to be, an endless source of inspiration, a way of translating your vision into pictures and allowing people to see through your eyes. Use it and abuse it, you won’t regret it!

Until next time... Smooches to all xXx

THE 5 P’s OF PLANNING

A big part of planning your own wedding is knowing how to get organised, because this is the only way you will be on top of everything. There are a few wedding websites that provide you with all the information and ideas you could possibly need, for free!

I used www.theknot.com, where not only do they have an unlimited amount of inspiration but when you create an account they give you a month by month to do list, so that you can know what you should be doing at each stage of your preparation. I suggest you use that as a guide and create your own list based on your priorities and the time frames to get things done in your chosen country.

Another essential in the planning process is a wedding book. It doesn’t have to be one of those expensive wedding planners, you can just make your own! In my case mine was a gift from one of my Maids of Honour, a very pretty and colourful book from Paperchase, which she divided into sections and labelled accordingly.

Once I started my planning I added more sections and labels as I went along. The benefit of having a wedding planning book is having everything in one place, whatever information you get, be it over the phone or email, write it down there straight away so that when you need the information you know where it is!

So let’s assume you have your planner at the ready, complete with your ‘to do’ list. Now it’s time to go digital. Don’t underestimate the power of a spreadsheet. Get one started early and it will be a great ally. Create different tabs for what you need, in my case I created the following: Groom’s guest list, Bride’s guest list, Yes RSVPs, Gifts and Budget.

Within those tabs you have the power to organise yourself, here’s an idea of the criteria I used (names, numbers and addresses have been made up):

Finally, if you’re the kind of girl that will rely on your Filofax or phone calendar to get you everywhere and anywhere, then use what you’ve got girl! Set yourself reminders of when you have to do things so that you never miss a beat.

And remember, proper planning prevents poor performance!

• Proper: If you put all your effort on things from the start you won’t have to be revisiting things that should have been sorted, closer to your date, when you’re out of time.
• Planning:  Organisation is the key. Use it and you can open any door.
• Prevents: You don’t want to be dealing with last minute issues, thinking ahead and preventing instead of fixing, means that when the time to worry comes, you won’t have to.
• Poor: The quality of wedding you DON’T want to have. Aim for greatness and dreams that come true.
• Performance: This will be a day to remember, one where you are the star and your planning will make sure you get to enjoy it. 

Until next time... Smooches to all xXx

DIY WEDDING PLANNING

So, I know I seem to have abandoned my blog but that’s because I’ve turned into a full on wedding planning Bridezilla. I made a choice early on in the process to maintain 100% creative control of my wedding by NOT having a wedding planner and though it has been challenging it has also been rewarding to see all the pieces coming together EXACTLY as I want them.

For those of you who think you NEED a wedding coordinator, I’m here to tell you that YOU CAN DO IT! My wedding is in 6 weeks, in Mexico, a country where I don’t know anybody so I have had to rely entirely on Internet searches, skype and online reviews.

Before you start planning, keep those three factors in mind, as they will be your biggest allies when planning a destination wedding.

1. Internet searches: The internet has EVERYTHING and if you look hard enough you WILL find it. When looking for something specific try different word searches and search engines. When I was looking for my wedding shoes I tried Google, Yahoo, Ebay and Amazon as my search engines and used a combination of the words lace, platform, peep toe, stiletto, sparkle and bling to find them. After weeks of searching I finally found exactly what I was looking for, and the wait was totally worth it!

2. Skype: If you don’t have it, download it, and if you do have it but only use it for Skype to Skype calls, then buy credit NOW. When planning a destination wedding you will need to make A LOT of international calls, and you will be glad when the phone bill comes and they’re not all on there! Skype credit is wonderful, it allows you to make calls from your skype to any phone in the world for pennies, you’ll have to check their website for the exact rates but I can guarantee it’s totally worth it.

3. Online reviews: I have to say I could not have done it without these. Once my wedding is been and done I will be visiting a few wedding forums and posting my own experiences because the past brides that have done this have been a great help to me! When planning a wedding abroad, you can’t go and look at the venue, you can’t meet the photographer beforehand, you can’t do a cake tasting… you have to book ALL your services based on good faith. Luckily for me I discovered www.bestdestinationwedding.com, where I have been able to find reviews on EVERYTHING, allowing me to make informed decisions based on the good experiences of other destination brides.

Use these three tools well and I can guarantee that slowly but steady, it will all come together. Watch this space because in the next few weeks I'll be telling you all about how I planned my own wedding!

Until next time… Smooches to all xXx

HUNGER GAMES... My thoughts

If you DIDN’T read the books and you’re into action packed, suspense filled, fiction movies, then you will love Hunger Games.

They were faithful to most aspects of the original story, changing them slightly to fit the film version, and made sure to include some of the moments of substance in the book, like:

• The bakery flashbacks to show their history together
• Peeta confessing he wanted to show Capitol they didn’t own him, which tied in nicely with the berries double suicide attempt
• The original interviews, with a funny and caring Caesar Flickerman, and where charming Peeta confesses his love for Katniss
• Peeta shaking his head at Katniss at the cornucopia willing her not to go in
• The three finger kiss salute to Katniss at the reaping and then for Rue after she is killed

 I also found it fascinating how they included bits that were not in the story but gave it a nice twist, like the Capitol control rooms, the reaction from district 11 when Katniss said goodbye to Rue, and then from Gale in district 12 when Peeta and Katniss kissed, as well as Haymitch working to get sponsors after he sees Katniss suffer from her burns. Even though they weren’t in the book, it all alluded to things implied in the overall story, like the pure evil of the Capitol, the Peeta/Katniss/Gale love triangle and Haymitch’s willingness to help.

However, if you DID read the book, then like me you most likely enjoyed or will enjoy the film, but you’ll feel a little disappointed by more than a few missing pieces and inconsistencies.

For starters the whole Peeta/Katniss relationship was underplayed. In the book, Katniss develops feelings for Peeta, which can be seen when she calls his name, goes to search for him, nurses him to health, risks her life to get his medicine and then loses it when she thinks he’s dying at the hands of the medics. However, she struggles with these because she has been, since the beginning and per Haymitch’s instructions, playing up their image as star-crossed lovers, so almost every active sign of affection she shows, in terms of kissing, sharing and snuggling, is an act, regardless of how she feels, whereas Peeta truly is madly in love with her and believes she has finally fallen for him. In the film her inner struggle is not as intense and it is implied that Peeta knows it is all an act.

Another inconsistency is when Katniss sets out to find Peeta, in the book she overheard how Cato had cut him after he saved her following the tracker-jacker wasp attack, she knew he was badly hurt and had to be close to water to survive, but in the film she never reached that conclusion, so in a place as big as the arena, how did she know to look for him by following the river?

Finally there is Peeta’s leg, when Katniss risks her life at the cornucopia to get his medicine, it was for an injection to fight the blood poisoning, and even though it made him substantially better, it was not the miraculous ointment they showed in the film, which appeared to completely cure him. By changing this they underplayed his true condition, not only missing out her attempt at a makeshift tourniquet, and the medics on the hovercraft working to save him, but they completely cut out that he was left with a wooden leg, which considering there are two more books/movies to come, I would have thought would be worth mentioning.

I have a great imagination, and am the kind of reader who can envision the book happening inside my head, making bookmarks along the way of moments that should have made it into the movie. Most of them are not necessarily moments that a person MUST know to watch the film, but they would have certainly added to its essence. Some of the missing moments I would have liked to see include:

• Drunk Haymitch stumbling off stage at the reaping, and then agreeing to sober up enough to help the tributes
• Katniss’ screaming out Peeta’s name (as opposed to whispering it) when the rule change was announced, it was her instinct to call for him and showed she actually cared
• The realization that the mutations were actually the fallen tributes
• Peeta being worked on by the medics while Katniss screamed for him behind the glass that separated them
• Video recap showing all their intense moments, him saving her from Cato, her screaming his name, finding him and nursing him to health, the kisses, the medics, etc.
• Peeta’s heartbreak at the realization that all her affections had been part of a strategy

 All in all, despite the shortcomings, it was a great film, and I will be looking forward to the next two, hoping they try and get a few more moments of essence from the books.

Until next time… Smooches to all xXx

SHADES OF GREY AND MAYBES

‘Patience is a virtue’, well, it’s not really a virtue I possess. I’ve never been very understanding or forgiving either. Nobody’s perfect, I’ll admit that much, but until recently I sat quite comfortably on my imaginary high pony, judging sometimes too harshly those who I considered were not as righteous as I though myself to be.

I’ve always had strong opinions, and I’ve never been one to budge on these, something that has sometimes been criticised by friends, family and even my boyfriend. Not really about silly things, but about topics I’ve taken a firm stand on, like abortion for example, I understand and respect that women have a right to choose but I personally associate abortion with ending a life, and would never do it. Then again I’ve never carried an unwanted child product of abuse or anything of the sort, so I can’t really say how I would react in that situation (thank God).

In the forgiveness front I’ve always been very harsh with people in my life, my philosophy has been ‘fool me once shame on you, fool me twice… nope that won’t happen because you’re not getting the chance!’. I’ve lost quite a few ‘friends’ for thinking this way, but I maintain that some of those didn’t deserve a second chance, some may have but it’s too late for that now. These days I try to be a little more forgiving, after all I’ve made some mistakes too and been granted forgiveness a lot quicker than I would have given it myself. I still ban from my life those who have harmed me in truly unforgivable ways but I like to think that as I’ve grown I’ve learned to get over the silly mistakes we all tend to make.

In relationships I always said I don’t forgive beaters or cheaters, and if the latter happens then the person in the relationship isn’t the only one to blame, the willing participant who knew about the absent partner is just as guilty. I stand firm on my beaters view, anyone who thinks it’s ok to vent their anger by beating on someone they claim to love is clearly not someone I want to have around. Now the cheaters view, I have come to realise, is not as black or white as I once thought, circumstances have a lot to do with it and sometimes it’s just not worth losing a loving and committed relationship because of a one off, clearly stupid mistake. To err is human and we all screw up sometime.

When it comes to serial cheaters however, I do think it’s imperative to get rid of the bastard, second chances are allowed, we all make mistakes after all, but if you have to give someone third, fourth, fifth, and 100 more chances, then clearly it wasn’t a one-off mistake, it’s a pattern that regardless how many times they apologise they’re clearly just going to do it again. In those cases you just need to decide how many times you’re going to let someone walk over you before you finally stand up for yourself.

I think as I’ve matured and made some mistakes of my own I’ve learned a thing or two and adapted to life as it evolves. I’ve heard that ‘we learn something new every day’, and as far as my life lesson is concerned, I think what I have learned, maybe not today but certainly in my recent past, is that life isn’t as straight forward as I wish it was, it’s not all right or wrong, black or white, yes or no … the world is made up of shades of grey and maybes.

Until next time… Smooches to all xXx

STORY OF A FAN

When I was 12 years old I walked into my bedroom one day to hear music blasting from under my bed. I looked under it and saw the little black cassette/radio player my dad had given me as a gift a few weeks earlier. He had recently passed away and the little black player had been confined to its box in the back of my closet, so what was it doing plugged under my bed?

I remember the song that was playing, ‘We’ve got it going on’ an upbeat single from this American band called the Backstreet Boys. I don’t know why but hearing that song, it was the first time in weeks I’d felt happy and actually started jumping around my room dancing to the beat of the boys.

I never found out how the radio got there, nobody in my family owned up to the deed, and it seems silly but at the time I believe it had been him, his spirit, who had somehow found a way to help me leave the sadness behind and put a smile back on my face. That was 1997 and I have been a Backstreet fan since. Who would have thought that moment would become such a big part of who I am.

When I was 14 I had my heart broken for the first time, my first crush had stolen my first kiss, which I romanticized until I found out he’d only done it as a bet and didn’t actually like me. Millennium had just been released, the perfect mix of sad songs (Show me the meaning of being lonely) and angry ones (Don’t want you back), to express the way I felt.

When I was 16 (year 2001) I saw them for the first time, back to back concerts in Caracas and Maracaibo on their Black and Blue tour, of course I went to both. Black and Blue is actually my favorite BSB album, I’d listen to my boys tell me how I deserved ‘More than that’ and I should ‘Get another boyfriend’, oblivious at the time to how right they were.

At 17 I started dating a boy, this was not a crush, this was my first love, the typical bad boy everybody warns you off, but you just won’t listen. I did a lot for this boy, went against my friends and family, left them to move to his city under the ‘University’ excuse and 8 months later he broke my heart with no explanation. The explanation came a few days later when he said ‘if you’d slept with me we’d still be together’. My boys were right after all.

As the years went on, and the albums were released, the boys helped heal broken hearts and dry my tears, when I was happy there was always a song I could jump around to and when I was sad they could sing my feelings better than I could say them out loud. Nobody ever really understood my loyalty to them, and as I grew older people started insisting I was too old to be a fan, they told me I should behave like an adult, grow up. They told me the Backstreet Boys didn’t even know I existed, that I would never meet them, that I should just give up.

Fast forward to 2011, I am 26 and on Saturday December 3^rd I proved all those people wrong. The place was the Backstreet Boys Cruise, it was a prom themed night and I had gone all out. Big pink princess dress and tiara in place, I settled with my friends to watch the show, when the boys announce they will be picking girls to sing to. ‘No way’ I though, ‘they’ll never pick me’.

Nick Carter starts walking up those stairs to the back of the auditorium, full of girls in pretty dresses, and he stands directly in front of me. In a matter of seconds my BFF Hattie points at me and yells ‘pick her’, Nick looks right at me, smiles and extends his hand for me to hold. That moment he led me down the stairs and on stage and sang ‘Helpless when she smiles’ at me, and I can’t even begin to describe hearing those lyrics come out of those lips while he hugged me, held my hand and I stared straight into his beautiful blue eyes.

What are the odds that from all the girls on that boat, Nick Carter, my true first love, even if a platonic one, would pick me. I hugged and kissed all the boys that night, and even if just for a moment, they saw me, they knew I existed and they made my dream come true. So for all of you who said I was too old to be a fan or go on that boat, for all of you who said it was time to stop wearing pink, for all of you who said my dream would never come true… that moment was for you. Don’t ever stop believing.

Until next time… Smooches to all xXx